Transformational Mindset Coach
CONSCIOUS & SUB-CONSCIOUS
The conscious is the aspect of ourselves that we are aware of, whereas the subconscious is the aspect of ourselves that we are unaware of.
DENYING OUR FEELINGS
We learn to deny our feelings consciously over and over again by rejecting and pushing that part of us into a place we cannot see, our subconscious.
BECOMING AWARE
To become aware of something you have to be able to see it. Shadow work makes you aware to the aspects that we rejected and pushed in our subconscious.
What Is Shadow Work?
The human shadow is the part of a human being that we put all of the disowned aspects of ourselves.
In the moment of trauma we fragment our consciousness and store these aspects somewhere we don't have access to, our subconscious. A place we do not have conscious awareness of. It is said that to have conscious awareness of something is the same as bringing it into the light, so the subconscious is referred to as the shadow aspect of a human.
Shadow work is to go into the shadow, the parts of us that we are unaware of and have rejected. This is so we can bring into the light the aspects that we have denied and disowned in order to reintegrate them.
We don't know what we don't know. So by doing shadow work, we start to understand what our aspects have been trying to tell us this whole time.
To learn how to do shadow work, go to my online course "Self Awareness Shadow Work"
What Is Fragmentation?
Fragmentation is the primary coping mechanism for a physical human.
We have an outdated definition of the meaning for trauma. We tend to define trauma only when it’s the most extreme stuff a person has experienced. Such as mental or sexual abuse, human trafficking, car crashes or death in the family. Every single human has trauma. This means everyone has fragmentation within their being.
As humans the way we cope with trauma is that we dissociate. Every time we experience trauma (distress without resolve), your consciousness splits into parts to create aspects. And the way we cope is by burying those feelings deep in our subconscious when the split occurs. In order to heal we must reintegrate those aspects into our being.
What is Reintegration?
Why Do We Seek External Validation?
We are born whole and relationally dependent for survival as children. The world we live in today has a lot of behaviours that are considered normal. Something as simple as getting a star for a good drawing as a child plays it's role in teaching us that our worth is based on the approval of an external opinion, other than ourselves. As a child we learn that approval means acceptance, and being accepted means that we have that relationship we depend on for survival.
In moments a child does not feel safe and feels they could lose the relationship they depend on for survival, their consciousness fragmentsWhat is fragmentation? in order to conform with the desire and approval of their caregivers. This behaviour has become normal and in some cases, is expected.
We then carry this behaviour over to adulthood and in order to feel safe the only way we learnt how to, we constantly search for that approval externally. In some extreme cases, someone seeking external validation would be considered as a people pleaser.
To learn how to Emotionally Heal Yourself, checkout my online course.
Good Or Bad?
As humans, we have the ability to hold beliefs. Everyone has their own beliefs.
There is no such things as good or bad.
Every action you take will be judged subjectively from another human, based on their own beliefs.
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